It's a shame we have to die my dear

Love? Yeah, I've loved, and I guess I've been loved back. If you were to ask why I'm not sure if I've ever been loved back, I'd say that love is not a constant force. You meet someone really special and you fall in love, things are great at the beginning because of that, it's the beginning, the time of dreams and illusions.
One very good friend of mine, a friend of the female variety, says that the love of her life was a brasilian she met while in Erasmus because it was always perfect, I've told her time after time that it was perfect because it was short, it was strong and it ended before time caught up with them.
I've had that kind of fast love too, and I liked it so much when I had it that I found myself (maybe the object of my love was doing the same) getting into an endless cycle Breakup/Makeup. Well the endless cycle ended up being only two years long until I got fed up with it all and wanted more, there had to be more. I explained everything as best as I could at the time, she said she loved me with all heart but she ended up breaking up with me and guess what ... two weeks later, she was with another, she had found a new love. I guess that's the standard mourning period for some.
That time, even though I had the notion that what I had had was not true love it took me close to a year to fully get back to being myself again.
This happened all over again a few times more, but it was never even half as strong as before. They were different, circumstances were different, I was different.
But then I found love again, and I was not myself, I took the lead, I chanced it all, and why? Because I found it where I never thought it could have been possible. Those were very strange circumstances. Without all of my previous experiences I wouldn't have gone for her, I would have stepped back and let it slide, thinking from time to time of all that could have been.
But I went for IT, it was fast, it was strong, it was everything. And we enjoyed it so very much. Until something came up over the horizon, a deadline on love, at first I thought about what that other friend had and I thought it was great, and it was. Further down the line I realized that it was not as fast as before, but it had become something more, where I found myself wanting for her little flaws. Things weren't as perfect but were intrinsically ours, our little arguments, not that we'd breakup/makeup, but that we'd had begun to know each other past all superficial masks.
That was the point were things were at the lowest. Why? Because I was genuinely afraid of losing her, and I started to retract myself trying to prevent myself from feeling the pain that was to come. With her help I solved that problem too eventually...
Things were good after that, we still had our ups and downs, but we were in love.
Then I went and got drunk at a dinner party, and I went and kissed a girl I had never even thought of in any desirable way, and before I had the time and notion to know what was happening it had already happened. And that was that, as fast as it had happened she went out the door. In my drunken state I started to think I had done something awful, maybe I had been sending the wrong signs. Turns out that girl is just plain crazy and so am I.
Then I went and spoiled it all by telling you what had happened, you were hurt, you couldn't even begin to comprehend what I was trying to say and how it all happened. I tried to rationalize everything, if I were you I wouldn't understand either, hell I am myself and I still don't understand.
And that my friends is how you cheat without ever wanting or thinking about it, and end up being dumped by someone that you still love and loves you back.
It's been a month and I now I know the dreams I had; like I had before in the past, were a sign, maybe when people get as close as I got to you, they share some sort of intangible link; were all true. It's been a month and you already found and have been with a new love . I feel like, I don't even have the words to express how that makes me feel.
That was fast, but then again I guess maybe my mourning period is greater than what it should be, that and the fact that I had yet not lost hope. I just didn't want the feeling of cheating on you even though we are now very far apart, so I've said no a few times already, but now I know that I'm free to say yes.
I blame none other than myself for starting this chain of events, it hurts, yes it does, but I'll just end up rationalizing everything. We'll be good friends someday!

Which brings me to my initial question. Love?
Yeah, I've loved ...